Fear the fearsomeness of the random oneshotS!
by SachiruNatsu
Summary: One night with Chiru and Izumi...Things get out of hand. One night in the world of Naruto with a twist of Chiru and Izumi...Things get wayyyyyyy out of hand.
1. The horibble hugs!

Ok everyone…this is going to make little to no sense, so we figured we'd be real nice and give you a warning…

Welcome one and all to the freak show we like to call Chiru's bedroom where many frightening things take place. For instance, Izumi brings her Gamecube over when she spends the night. All through the night, literally we play Naruto: Clash of Ninja 2. Some of these stories are from those little battles when our imaginations went a little to wild.

---begin random one-shot #1---

"I can't play with this bloody hair hanging from my ceiling!" Chiru yells.

"Well, I'm not gonna wear it, it gets all tangled when I get overly active." Izumi retorts.

"Get it off my ceiling!"

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"No."

"Yes!"

"…"

"…HEY!" Izumi yells at her own fault

"Stupid hag." Chiru says all Sasuke-emo like.

"Hey you little Chiky! I am 8 months your senior, RESPECT ME!!"

"I'll respect you like I respect Guy sensei's hug of doom." Chiru says.

"Hug of doom?"

"Yeah, you get hit by the dude, called an idiot and then told you are a great person and hugged to the point your spine is crushed." she said as if she was telling me about her day.

"Sounds scary. But it almost sounds like something Gaara would try to tell everyone to watch out for because love is a scary thing that will kill people."

"Hey, that would make for a neat one shot." Chiru yells!

In the World of Naruto

A bunch of Genin from Sand and Leaf villages sat in a clearing that they had found where they could talk in peace from the adults.

"I'm telling you that if you get hugged, you will get your spine crushed and die." Gaara from Sand warned anyone who would listen to him.

"Gaara, that doesn't even make sense…" Haruno Sakura said.

Gaara nodded his head hard, "Yeah it does! Don't get hugged or else you might get killed!"

"Yup, Gaara's lost it now," Nara Shikamaru sighed.

"I am not crazy!" Gaara said all emo like and twitched.

"Suuuuure," Uchiha Sasuke said, looking smugly at the red head from Sand village.

"Ok, well I have training with Gai sensei now, so I'm going to leave," Rock Lee said getting up and dusting the dried and ugly grass that clung to his precious green jumpsuit.

"Bye, Lee," everyone shouted after him.

"Watch out for the hugs!" Gaara called after him, "That's why my family won't hug me because they know that I know that hugs are really deadly."

Every one looked at him, not knowing what to say.

"… what? Its true." He said to the group.

"So, who wants to go watch Lee get whooped by Gai?" Hyuuga Neji asked the group. Every knew that he didn't really go to watch Lee get hurt but just to watch Lee since he had a really obvious crush on him.

"Sure, any time," hyper active Uzumaki Naruto chimed in.

The group went down to watch Lee spar with Gai. It was very hard to tell which was which because of the outfit's the two wore that were identical. Even their hair was identical, the same black and shiny bowl cuts.

"Idiot! Your defenses are so weak!" Gai sensei yelled at Lee. He nailed him in the face with a fist. Lee Flew about fifteen feet and landed with a thud.

Gai ran over to Lee and got down next to him, "Lee, are you ok?"

Lee pushed himself up to a sitting position and faced Gai, tears were in his eyes.

Gai's eyes were no drier, "Lee! You are such a wonderful person!" he said.

"Gai Sensei!"

"Lee!"

"Gai Sensei!"

"Lee!"

Gai Sensei grabbed Lee up in a bear hug and squeezed him tight.

"Gai sensei…I…I…can't…breath." Lee gasped

Gai hugged tighter and to the amazement to every one in the stands, there was a loud _snap_.

They watched Lee slide to the ground and every one looked at Gaara who stood with a "Ha-ha-told-you-so" smirk.

"We'll never hear the end of this one," Yamanaka Ino sighed.

BACK WITH CHIRU AND IZUMI

"Dude…that's messed up," Izumi stared, horrified as Chiru laughed and laughed and laughed about the little scenario.

"That's really messed up…"

"Will you get your freaking hair off my ceiling NOW?"


	2. Cockatoo!

**Yo everyone! Chiru and Izumi have a special surprise for you! Number one, it ish Chiru-chan's b-day! (WOOT!!!) Nuber 2...WE have special (special) guests! We are featuring Shika-chan and Tsuki-chan! CHA!**

**Yeah, Shika gets to type!!**

**Today's fic is in honor of Chi-chan's birthday. Here we go!**

**Disclaimer-- None of us own anything from Naruto. However, Chiru does own Shika-chan.**

----

One morning, Shika (our Shika, not your Shika) woke up wrapped awkwardly around Izumi-chan. She ran her hand through her hair. She untangled herself from Izumi, "Ooh, yummy," Izumi muttered. "We tangled each other up.."

The birthday girl, Chiru-chan (Chiru-dono), stirred next to them. "Tsuki, your hands are cold."

"My hands are always cold."

"Whatever."

Chiru slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes. As her vision became clear she could see Shika and Izumi sitting up. Chiru looked at Shika and cocked her head to the side. Her hair looked like a cockatoo! Of course Chiru being Chiru, she saw Shika's hair as being Sasuke's hair.

"Why is Sasuke in my room? I'll kill him!" Chiru growled sleepily.

"Sasuke? Where?" Shika asked.

"Right there!" Chiru stated pointing straight at Shika.

"What the hell man! I'm not Sasuke!"

Chiru rubbed the rest of the sleep out of her eyes and looked at the Sasuke more clearly.

"Holy shit, Shika! I thought you were Sasuke!"

"It's probably because her hair is sticking straight up…" Tsuki grumbled groggily.

"What?! It is?! Shit!"

Shika hurriedly smoothed her hair out. She kept pushing it down and it kept popping up. Finally Shika got the idea to put her hair in a ponytail.

"There…" Shika said, happy that her hair no longer looked like that stupid, idiotic cockatoo.

"Now you just look like Shikamaru." Izumi joked.

---

**In the world of Naruto**

Sasuke had woken up at six this morning. His head felt like crap…and his hair looked like crap. He had washed it with some kind of new shampoo and his hair wouldn't stand up any more.

"Oh that's cheap…It was supposed give my hair volume…So one question…How am I going to get it to stick up?"

Sasuke tried a whole bunch of gels…Needless to say, none of them worked. He tried putting it in a pony tail…That didn't work either.

"Ah! I'm meeting the team at eight! My hair has to look good! What do I do?"

A light bulb suddenly popped up over Sasuke's head. "Itachi's hair styling book! His hair always looked good!"

Sasuke pulled the key to the Uchiha Manner out of his pocket and ran to his old house.

When he got there, he quickly unlocked the door and ran to Itachi's room and started digging through his stuff.

He started in his dresser. Pulling out all of his clothes and boxers. Then…

"AHH!!! ITACHI READ PLAYBOY MAGIZINES?!!!!"

Sasuke began to look through them until he remembered his mission. He continued going through Itachi's drawer(sp?) until he found a big journal that said 'DO NOT READ' on the front.

Regardless of what the journal said, Sasuke began to flip through the pages furiously. He saw sketches of everything…literally everything, stories, and finally, Itachi's hair recipes.

First style: The 'Oh so smexy low ponytail'

Step one: Wake up and do NOT brush your hair.

Step two: Put a large amount of gel in hands and pull hair back.

Step three: Rub gel into hair until you can't feel it on your hands anymore.

Step four: Put in a low ponytail using a black ponytail holder.

"Ok…that was Itachi's normal hair style…"

Hair style number two: 'Piggity Pigtails'

Sasuke freaked out just by reading the name and continued reading the random hairstyles. And after reading about fifty different hair styles, he finally came across 'My foolish little brothers cockatoo hair style'

Step one: Take a shower.

Step two: Brush hair up when it is semi dry.

Step three: Mix Tupelo Honey with random hair gel.

Step four: Lather into hair and gently spike

Step five: NEVER USE THIS HAIR STYLE!!!

Sasuke didn't even pay attention to the last step. He quickly ran into his mothers untouched kitchen and searched for honey. When he found that, he went into his brother's bathroom and snatched his hair gel. Then he ran back into the kitchen and got a bowl and spoon.

Sasuke sat down in the middle of the hallway and began making the concoction. Then he rubbed his hand together and mixed it in his hands.

By the time Sasuke was done perfecting his hair, it was 7:45. He quickly finished his hair and 'poofed' to the bridge where team seven usually met. He was there early…Thank Kami-sama!

Sakura was the next person to arrive. She took one look at Sasuke and screamed.

"What is it Sakura-chan?" Sasuke asked confused.

"Y-your hair!" She said pointing at him in fear.

Sasuke turned around and looked into the water and saw that his haor was now snow white…

…

…

…

"MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Somewhere in the middle of nowhere**

"MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Itachi smirked when he heard this.

…

"Foolish little brother…"

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**Ok, Chiru finished up this oneshot. I'm so evil to Sasuke. Of course, that's because I hate him. Anyhow, R&R!!!**

**Much love,**

**SachiruNatsu, IzumiKikishou, ShikaSennyo, and TsukiKure-ji.**

**P.S. IT'S MY ACTUAL BDAY TOMORROW! **


	3. Note

**Hi everyone. Please do not flame me for saying this, but I do not have the time nor the enthusiasm to write this month. So all of my stories are now discontinued until July. I'm sorry, but I'm tired of the flames, the reviews, the typing. I will now say that after I finish all of my current stories, I'm going on a break. A lonnnnngg break. I need to get some inspiration. I need to talk to people. I'm so damn isolated during the summer and can't think at all. So ADD my damn myspace thing. I need to get more people on there anyways. :. The url is on my profile at the very bottom.**

**Now I will say this one more time. Do NOT flame me for this because you will get no reply, nor will you get any story. The more flames I get the more my inspiration goes down. So please be careful what you say. I'm tired now and I'm going to go read or draw or something random.**

**Oh yeah. Nother subject. I can't draw worth a crap and have no scanner. So if anyone can I would love a fan art of one of my stories. That'd be cool. Who knows, a picture may even give me my inspiration back. Donno. **

**Thanks for your patience with my hectic writing schedule,**

**SachiruNatsu **


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